Presley James
Alright all of you ladies dying to join Relationshipville, I’m here to tell you how to find your very own Baby Boo but I’m warning you that you can’t have the best of both worlds. There are two kinds of guys in the world. Yep that’s it just two, the Womb Beaters and the Little Pickles. Let’s start with God’s gift and curse to women the womb beaters.
These guys are usually average looking Joes with egos the size of an Olympic size swimming pool. Rightfully so because average Joe has a baby’s arm in between his thighs! He most likely will make you hate him with his cocky attitude. You know Joe, he’s checking out the chick in pasties while talking to you about politics. What a prick! Yet there is still something about Joe that will make you want him to take you in the men’s room and throw you up against the wall. Why is this, because no matter how much we say size doesn’t matter we all want to know how it feels to have a womb beater shoved up our hot pocket.
Now there are few things that you should know about these Joes and their womb beaters. Number one, they are only concerned about themselves. Don’t expect them to be eating at the Y, it’s not their style. This doesn’t mean you won’t be pleased but only when and how wishes. Number two, if you play hard to get he will show someone else what it feels like to have a womb beater. Start kicking yourself because the women that know what he’s packing will be in line to get a piece of that. Number three, they DON’T do relationships. I know what you’re thinking, “but he calls me all the time at 2 am and wants to hangout.” Regular booty calls are not a relationship! Think about the way that you felt about the last person you called at 3am; would you ever be caught dead in a relationship with him?
Moving on to what your all longing to have, the relationship guy, or as I like to call him “lil pickle”. This guy is probably good looking yet a little intimidated or nervous around you. Well I hate to break it to you but it’s not because you are his version of Heidi Klum. He knows that there is a chance that someday you will find out his big secret or in his case little secret. The sad fact is that his stiffy looks more like a cocktail wiener than a jumbo dog. Some things you will find out about your relationship guy; Number One, he will do just about anything to make your toes curl and call him daddy. Number two, most likely this guy is going to be insecure about more than just his lil pickle, so watch out! Number three, you will be wearing the pants in this relationship and your balls will probably be bigger than his. So if the “relationship guy” sounds like what you’re looking for then invest in some penis extenders and vibrators and go find your very own lil pickle. While you are doing that…
I’ll be out looking for the next Big thing.
Presley James
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