Stella James
I have a confession, I was a fat girl. I know I know it’s hard to believe that this rocking bod was once chubby, but it’s true. I ate my feelings as so many do while they are in a relationship. When I met Koenig I had a pretty sweet little bod; tight ass, nice rack, skinny legs. Fast forward to July 2009, we have just broken up. I am heartbroken beyond words could ever describe. I am forced to move to back to my parent’s house and sleep on a twin bed. My self esteem is shot because he is a cheating bastard. But the worst part is I am twenty-five pounds heavier than I was when we met. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate that douche lord. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate relationships in general. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate myself for letting this happen. Millions of you “in a relationship” assholes who I have dubbed The I.A.R are doing the exact same thing. Go ahead, take a look. Look down at your belly. It looks like you are sitting in an inner tube doesn’t it. How does it start? Why do we start not giving a shit about the way you look naked? For me I think it was after the 2nd year. Koenig and I were in love and getting in to a weekend routine of getting black out drunk at night and then eating our hangovers away in bed while watching movies. Throw in a couple 8 minute sex sessions and maybe a handie and you have a perfect Sunday right? Wrong, you have a recipe for rapid relationship weight gain. The sad part is that you are so far into it that you don’t even notice. Or you do but when you ask your boyfriend or friends if you look fat they reply with “You look beautiful” or “You look happy”. Why can’t we just be honest with each other? Why can’t we just say how we feel, “Babe you look like you swallowed the girl I fell in love with.” Oh and by the way ladies when you have to ask if you look fat you probably do so get your ass to a spin class. Or better yet start eating cock instead of that extra slice of pizza. This will lower your calorie intake as well as keep your boyfriend from straying to some lame broad in his office. Perhaps I didn’t feel much up to eating Koenig’s cock because he to was on the fast track to rapid relationship weight gain. Dudes gain weight too and not in their cock like we’d hope. Koenig was no exception. He gained right along next to me. I used his weight gain as a justification to mine. I am sure he did the same. From what I hear he is still eating his feelings with the office broad. As for me well I have dropped the twenty-five pounds I gained while we were together and an extra five out of spite. I am not stopping there; I am only one throat finger bang away from my goal weight. Yeah I said it; there is nothing wrong with finger banging your throat once in awhile to shed the extra lbs you’ve gained because of an epic Sunday Funday. Don’t judge me! Judge the saddle bags that just showed up because you’re in love. I am sure your boyfriend would prefer you to pick up an eating disorder instead of the Twinkie you just ate. If you don’t believe me just watch him undress my tight bulimic ass as I walk by you assholes in a bar. I know you’re probably angry with me after that last statement. Honestly I am just here to help. I wish I had someone to tell me the hard honest truth while I was in the I.A.R. Learn from my mistakes ladies. Looking good naked will improve your life in so many ways. Your self esteem will improve. You will get free drinks when your lame ass boyfriend isn’t around, and most important you will bang better. You don’t believe me? Think about the wild kinky banging you and your dude use to do before you both took a trip to Fatville, USA. Two weeks ago I banged a dude in his doorway standing up. Do you think I would be able to hold myself up and bend in such insane positions if I were still eating my feelings? The answer my friend is no. Oh and by the way I can’t tell you how amazing my O was because you wouldn’t believe me. I am actually getting vagina tingles as I write about it. If you want to get out of the boring missionary to doggy sex routine all of you I.A.R members fall into then I suggest taking a stand and telling rapid relationship weight gain to fuck off. Start banging like the skinny singles you envy. It took me 30 pounds and heartache to get to this point and I can promise you that my next boyfriend is going to love his calorie watching, cock eating, rail thin girlfriend.
I have a confession, I was a fat girl. I know I know it’s hard to believe that this rocking bod was once chubby, but it’s true. I ate my feelings as so many do while they are in a relationship. When I met Koenig I had a pretty sweet little bod; tight ass, nice rack, skinny legs. Fast forward to July 2009, we have just broken up. I am heartbroken beyond words could ever describe. I am forced to move to back to my parent’s house and sleep on a twin bed. My self esteem is shot because he is a cheating bastard. But the worst part is I am twenty-five pounds heavier than I was when we met. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate that douche lord. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate relationships in general. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate myself for letting this happen. Millions of you “in a relationship” assholes who I have dubbed The I.A.R are doing the exact same thing. Go ahead, take a look. Look down at your belly. It looks like you are sitting in an inner tube doesn’t it. How does it start? Why do we start not giving a shit about the way you look naked? For me I think it was after the 2nd year. Koenig and I were in love and getting in to a weekend routine of getting black out drunk at night and then eating our hangovers away in bed while watching movies. Throw in a couple 8 minute sex sessions and maybe a handie and you have a perfect Sunday right? Wrong, you have a recipe for rapid relationship weight gain. The sad part is that you are so far into it that you don’t even notice. Or you do but when you ask your boyfriend or friends if you look fat they reply with “You look beautiful” or “You look happy”. Why can’t we just be honest with each other? Why can’t we just say how we feel, “Babe you look like you swallowed the girl I fell in love with.” Oh and by the way ladies when you have to ask if you look fat you probably do so get your ass to a spin class. Or better yet start eating cock instead of that extra slice of pizza. This will lower your calorie intake as well as keep your boyfriend from straying to some lame broad in his office. Perhaps I didn’t feel much up to eating Koenig’s cock because he to was on the fast track to rapid relationship weight gain. Dudes gain weight too and not in their cock like we’d hope. Koenig was no exception. He gained right along next to me. I used his weight gain as a justification to mine. I am sure he did the same. From what I hear he is still eating his feelings with the office broad. As for me well I have dropped the twenty-five pounds I gained while we were together and an extra five out of spite. I am not stopping there; I am only one throat finger bang away from my goal weight. Yeah I said it; there is nothing wrong with finger banging your throat once in awhile to shed the extra lbs you’ve gained because of an epic Sunday Funday. Don’t judge me! Judge the saddle bags that just showed up because you’re in love. I am sure your boyfriend would prefer you to pick up an eating disorder instead of the Twinkie you just ate. If you don’t believe me just watch him undress my tight bulimic ass as I walk by you assholes in a bar. I know you’re probably angry with me after that last statement. Honestly I am just here to help. I wish I had someone to tell me the hard honest truth while I was in the I.A.R. Learn from my mistakes ladies. Looking good naked will improve your life in so many ways. Your self esteem will improve. You will get free drinks when your lame ass boyfriend isn’t around, and most important you will bang better. You don’t believe me? Think about the wild kinky banging you and your dude use to do before you both took a trip to Fatville, USA. Two weeks ago I banged a dude in his doorway standing up. Do you think I would be able to hold myself up and bend in such insane positions if I were still eating my feelings? The answer my friend is no. Oh and by the way I can’t tell you how amazing my O was because you wouldn’t believe me. I am actually getting vagina tingles as I write about it. If you want to get out of the boring missionary to doggy sex routine all of you I.A.R members fall into then I suggest taking a stand and telling rapid relationship weight gain to fuck off. Start banging like the skinny singles you envy. It took me 30 pounds and heartache to get to this point and I can promise you that my next boyfriend is going to love his calorie watching, cock eating, rail thin girlfriend.
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