True Romance?

True Romance?
Stella James


Sometimes as torture I like to watch True Romance and picture finding a love like that. Uncontrollable, irrational, honest love that makes the crazy things you do 100% justifiable. I have never felt love like that and I am scared that I never will. Not because it’s not out there but because I don’t allow myself to be that honest in relationships. I am a needy commitment phobic that is too scared to take a chance on love. Some people are afraid of being alone, not me. I’m scared of finding forever and letting myself fall completely. Sometimes I think sex is so much easier when you don’t feel anything. By no means am I advocating a life full of one night stands. Sex is always better with someone you know but what I’m saying is it’s easier to pull your heart out of the equation. When I see couples around town holding hands, kissing, loving I wonder how honest they are with each other. Do they have that irrational love? I was once in their kind of love. Their kind of love makes dinner together on a Thursday night and watches The Office, it’s comfortable. The kind of love I want is not as relaxed as that. The love I give is moody and illogical, but very special. I know that I am a lot to handle and it can be frustrating but I also know somewhere in this world there is man, most likely with a beard, that can handle all of this. Once I can be genuine with myself and allow myself to find him it will be beautiful. He will be the luckiest man in the world because just like Alabama, “When I’m with you then I’m with you and I don’t want anybody else.” Jesus Stella why so serious today? I am turning Clarence and Alabama off because I have research to get ready for tonight. Presley and I are going to hit the town tonight to see if twenty-one year old boys are god’s gift or curse to twenty-five year old broads. Stay tuned Darlings; I promise to be more titillating tomorrow.

Kisses,
Stella


One more thing, my future love will definitely ask me if I want to see what Spiderman number one looks like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL-9NNzNqWQ&feature=related

Eating Your Feelings

Eating Your Feelings

Stella James

I have a confession, I was a fat girl. I know I know it’s hard to believe that this rocking bod was once chubby, but it’s true. I ate my feelings as so many do while they are in a relationship. When I met Koenig I had a pretty sweet little bod; tight ass, nice rack, skinny legs. Fast forward to July 2009, we have just broken up. I am heartbroken beyond words could ever describe. I am forced to move to back to my parent’s house and sleep on a twin bed. My self esteem is shot because he is a cheating bastard. But the worst part is I am twenty-five pounds heavier than I was when we met. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate that douche lord. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate relationships in general. Twenty-Five more reasons to hate myself for letting this happen. Millions of you “in a relationship” assholes who I have dubbed The I.A.R are doing the exact same thing. Go ahead, take a look. Look down at your belly. It looks like you are sitting in an inner tube doesn’t it. How does it start? Why do we start not giving a shit about the way you look naked? For me I think it was after the 2nd year. Koenig and I were in love and getting in to a weekend routine of getting black out drunk at night and then eating our hangovers away in bed while watching movies. Throw in a couple 8 minute sex sessions and maybe a handie and you have a perfect Sunday right? Wrong, you have a recipe for rapid relationship weight gain. The sad part is that you are so far into it that you don’t even notice. Or you do but when you ask your boyfriend or friends if you look fat they reply with “You look beautiful” or “You look happy”. Why can’t we just be honest with each other? Why can’t we just say how we feel, “Babe you look like you swallowed the girl I fell in love with.” Oh and by the way ladies when you have to ask if you look fat you probably do so get your ass to a spin class. Or better yet start eating cock instead of that extra slice of pizza. This will lower your calorie intake as well as keep your boyfriend from straying to some lame broad in his office. Perhaps I didn’t feel much up to eating Koenig’s cock because he to was on the fast track to rapid relationship weight gain. Dudes gain weight too and not in their cock like we’d hope. Koenig was no exception. He gained right along next to me. I used his weight gain as a justification to mine. I am sure he did the same. From what I hear he is still eating his feelings with the office broad. As for me well I have dropped the twenty-five pounds I gained while we were together and an extra five out of spite. I am not stopping there; I am only one throat finger bang away from my goal weight. Yeah I said it; there is nothing wrong with finger banging your throat once in awhile to shed the extra lbs you’ve gained because of an epic Sunday Funday. Don’t judge me! Judge the saddle bags that just showed up because you’re in love. I am sure your boyfriend would prefer you to pick up an eating disorder instead of the Twinkie you just ate. If you don’t believe me just watch him undress my tight bulimic ass as I walk by you assholes in a bar. I know you’re probably angry with me after that last statement. Honestly I am just here to help. I wish I had someone to tell me the hard honest truth while I was in the I.A.R. Learn from my mistakes ladies. Looking good naked will improve your life in so many ways. Your self esteem will improve. You will get free drinks when your lame ass boyfriend isn’t around, and most important you will bang better. You don’t believe me? Think about the wild kinky banging you and your dude use to do before you both took a trip to Fatville, USA. Two weeks ago I banged a dude in his doorway standing up. Do you think I would be able to hold myself up and bend in such insane positions if I were still eating my feelings? The answer my friend is no. Oh and by the way I can’t tell you how amazing my O was because you wouldn’t believe me. I am actually getting vagina tingles as I write about it. If you want to get out of the boring missionary to doggy sex routine all of you I.A.R members fall into then I suggest taking a stand and telling rapid relationship weight gain to fuck off. Start banging like the skinny singles you envy. It took me 30 pounds and heartache to get to this point and I can promise you that my next boyfriend is going to love his calorie watching, cock eating, rail thin girlfriend.

Thigh High Boots and Mini Skirts

Today is the day ladies and gents! Presley and I are headed to Viva Las Vegas! I promise to post lots of pictures and videos when I get home. Let the debauchery begin! Love you Darlings, till next time!

Kisses,

Stella J

What came first the music or the misery?

What came first the music or the misery?
Stella James

As I was putting together an epic Vegas playlist, I came across one that was not so up beat. It was titled High Fidelity, and when I saw it my heart sank into my stomach. I made it when Koenig and I broke up; Five songs that reminded me of him. Like a fool I decided to give it one more listen before deleting it. I would like to think that after all this time I would be smart enough to know that the person I was then is not the person I am now. As I listened to one heartbreaking song after the other I realized I haven’t necessarily changed for the better. Sometimes I think I am more neurotic now then when we met. By no means am I giving him credit for giving me an excuse to subconsciously destroy my chances of a normal relationship. It actually took meeting someone else to realize that what I do to lovers and friends is not ok. I have been dating for a long time and I always start every relationship off with the same approach. Let’s do this because it’s fun, when it stops being fun then we can move on. Unfortunately I get so scared to feel vulnerable that I push anything that may be fun far away for me. I will always burn you before you burn me. I don’t know why I can’t just give in a little and say, “Yep I like you, you make me happy and I have fun with you.” Instead I use act like an insecure whiskey fed lunatic. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. As of this moment I am going to be honest with myself and my lovers. No more insecure jealousy or alcohol induced rants, just real honest Stella. Let’s see if the juice is worth the squeeze. On that note, I promise to get your motors running with some sexual writing tomorrow. I’m thinking Oral? Have a good one Darlings.

Kisses,
Stella <3

High Fidelity

1. Ryan Adams “Come Pick Me Up”
2. Beck “All In Your Mind”
3. The Cardigans “Junk Of The Hearts”
4. Bob Dylan “You’re A Big Girl”
5. Tori Amos “China”

Vegas: The Furthest Thing From Love

Vegas: The Furthest Thing from Love
Stella James


Presley, TJ, and I are headed to Las Vegas this Saturday. It is a much needed vacation for all of us. Not really because we work to hard but mostly because everywhere we turn people are professing their undying love for each other. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sign in to www.Facestalk.com without seeing a status update about love. Don’t get me wrong people, I am all for you finding love and changing your status to in a relationship with blah blah blah. I’ll be honest with you I was pretty excited to change my relationship status with Koenig too. Sometimes I think I want to be back on your team. Then I remember what it feels like when you fall out of love and have to change that status back to single. Such defeat, it’s like getting punched in the ovaries. It begs the question of why we even bother in the first place. It’s much easier for me to keep love at a distance and head to the furthest thing from love for the weekend… VEGAS! Oh Vegas, the place where single Stella can let her hair down and make some bad decisions. It’s time to forget about the dudes with beards I have been pining over in Orange County and give the beards in Las Vegas a chance. With that being said I would like to remind you darlings of the top ten must have items for a Vegas vacation.

1. Your ID: I don’t care if it’s fake just make sure you have one. Also, make sure you don’t lose it in a stranger’s pants the first night. The last night maybe but definitely not the first.

2. Condoms: Don’t be a retard, wrap that shit up. I mean this is Vegas, let’s not pretend you aren’t going to wake up in someone else’s hotel room. Sometimes you are lucky enough to wake up on an air mattress with a local. Just make sure the bed isn’t the only rubber you got to experience that night.

3. Water and Gatorade: I’m sure this isn’t your first rodeo. HYDRATION is crucial in Vegas and unless you want to pay $13 bucks for a bottle of water in your hotel room think ahead and bring your own shit.

4. Sunglasses: Vegas shades have multiple uses. I pack multiple pairs. You need a pair to bring to the pool. They should match your swimsuit and for me just like my men the bigger the better. The second pair I bring in my purse to take to the club. Vegas is crazy and you never what time you are going to walk out of a casino or if you are lucky enough the nudie bar. Always have a spare pair of shades to save you from that beautiful desert sun.

5. Toothbrush: I suggest bringing a toothbrush for your hotel room as well as a travel toothbrush. Nothing kills morning sex faster than stale whiskey breath.

6. Cash: If you don’t know to bring cash to Vegas then maybe your pansy ass shouldn’t go. Do you know how much they charge you to withdrawal cash from a casino ATM? It is a pretty penny and you should be saving all your pretty pennies to buy me and my scantily clad friend’s drinks.

7. Tunes: Good Vegas tunes for a day/night out are essential. I suggest stuff that makes you want to shake it and break it. Feel Me Flow by Naughty by Nature will get pumped to hit the pool and make bad decisions with strangers in swimsuits. At night the best CRUE album ever Shout at the Devil is a must! Turn it up loud and get sleazy. Oh and if you look like Nikki Sixx I am staying at The Palms room 2341.

8. Sunscreen: Kind of boring but a must! There is nothing sexy about a tomato that has been sitting in the sun too long. Am I right or am I right?

9. An Identification Bracelet: This is really just for me. I tend to stray from the group, lose my cell phone, and room key. I have decided this trip I am going to wear an ID bracelet to avoid these instances. “This is Stella James if found please return to Presley or TJ at The Palms room 2341”

10. Party Pants: Stop being a pussy this is Vegas baby! You better bring you’re A-Game!!! Leave that B-Game at home with your significant other.



Alright then darlings, you have my must have Vegas list. Use it, and meet me and the ladies at Wet Republic. We are sure to be a goodtime!

www.getheartonblog.com

Stella and Presley will be up in running by the end of April 2010. We have created this site so you can get a taste of our style. There is a lot more to come so bare with us and stay heart <3

http://www.getheartonblog.com/