Stella's Single Birthday

Single Birthday

Stella James

Well kids, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not here to write about blowies or handies. I have been sex free for over a month now. A very long masturbation filled month. Why the sudden urge to pull a page out of Morrisey’s book and become a celibate freak? It’s pretty simple really, I’m tired of banging beards that I don’t care about.

I have been single for a year this month. In this year my ex (I am no longer allowed to use his name) has fallen in love, shacked up, and (the final kick in the heart) asked his girlfriend to marry him. In the mean time I have exchanged meaningless text messages with band dudes, slept with one of his friends, and had one semi relationship with a beard that moved right when I fell for him. On paper it looks as though the ex has won this breakup.

I should let everyone know this is not some rant about how fucked up my ex boyfriend is. I’m not exactly his biggest fan at the moment, but in no way is this about him. This is my journey not his. We were not meant to be and I’m shocked that we stayed together as long as we did. I whole heartedly believe he is with the person he is supposed to be with. I have grown a lot since our breakup and with growth mistakes are inevitable. No one is perfect and I’ve dealt with this break up the best way I knew how to. There were lots of tears, lots of whiskey, lots of dudes. I have been judged and even lost some friends. At the same time, I’m more aware of what I want in life. I’m more confident than I have ever been and even though there are lonely times I am content with being a single broad. I have stopped masking my hurt with booze and beards and started holding myself accountable for the things I need to change. I’ve hurt some people as well as myself this past year and though I can’t change it I do own up to it. I’ve learned that not everyone can be pleased and in order to keep sane I just need to do what is right for me. At this moment that mean putting the whiskey down, saying goodbye to my bang buddies, and moving on from negative Nancy’s. Everything I do is for me and I don’t expect anyone but me to understand it.

Thank you for reading the rant. We started this blog to talk about relationships and banging and even though I am sans both at the moment I promise to keep it interesting. I mean these porn broads I run around with have enough material to keep me writing for months!

Love to all,

Stella “is back” James