Stella James
Warning, I will be talking about dildos and lube. If you are one of the broads I went to high school with that reads this blog to judge my single life feel free to fuck off and leave now. The rest of you lovely people please continue reading.
Ok remember when I said the very beautiful Lucy Vonne was going to give me some goodies to review. Well, she has and here is the first review.
Product: Evolved Roulette “Bet On Black”
Price: I have no idea but worth it
When Lucy Vonne’s wonderful package arrived at my house I was happier than Mischa Barton at an all you can eat buffet. The first thing I did was rifle through the box till I came across a beautifully packaged phallic dream. Black and red, swirled and soft: It’s “Bet on Black” from Evolved’s roulette series and my new best friend. Since deciding to only bang people that can hold my interest longer than one night (look for blog soon) I have been on a bit of drought. Vibrators, dildos, and shower heads have become my only chance of orgasm and I’m not mad about it. After inspecting my new friend, I quickly ran to my bedroom and put on a vintage Jenna J and Justin Sterling scene. I’m not sure if I was overly excited due to the idea of a new toy or if the JJ scene was too hot to handle but I finished I about 3 and ½ minuets. Either “Bet on Black” is my new god or I have just been penis free for too long now. Possibly a little of both, either way I needed to give it another run to write a proper review. It was the only professional way to go about this and I take my work very seriously.
2nd attempt
The 2nd attempt came a few hours later. I knew it would take longer to finish since I had already buzzed it out. I also went at it sans smut. “Bet on Black” aka BOB was really going to have to work for it now. During my 2nd go at it I realized how wonderful the size and touch of BOB was. Just under 8 inches and the perfect amount of girth. I hate huge horse size dildos, I mean really who wants to feel like a Tijuana hooker at a donkey show? Not this broad. BOB is made of waterproof silicone. He is soft and flexible. This was my first go at a silicone dildo and I never plan to slum it again with plastic. I have moved up in the world and so has my toy taste. The finish BOB provided was glorious, clocking in a buzz time of 12 minuets. Perfect timing for someone who wants to buzz it out quickly before a date or maybe on a lunch break. Thank you BOB, and thank you Vincent Gallo for being good looking and somewhat dirty in my thoughts, you both get 5 stars.
Did you guys catch the word “waterproof” above? Oh yeah you did, this leads us to a third attempt.
3rd attempt
The 3rd attempt came (lame pun intended) the following morning. I have never had a waterproof buzzer so I was very eager to get BOB in the shower. My shower is perfect for sexual activities but has seen very little action and though BOB was not the real thing he will do the trick for now. The next 36 minuets were some of the best minuets in my buzzing life. I am not sure if it was BOB’s multi speeds or the hot water steaming up my entire bathroom but Jesus Joeseph and Mary it was a good time. So good in fact that I decided to leave BOB in the shower for future pleasure. This idea was quickly shot down when I went to take a shower after the cleaning ladies left and BOB was organized in order by size with my toiletries. The things those women see in this house, I mean really!
I will not bore you with the details of my 4th and 5th attempts with BOB, just know they were great and I’m strongly advocating the purchase of this toy. Your vagina will thank you. Boys buy it for your girls and play together. Just go buy it people, it gets the Stella James seal of approval.
Next week in Stella’s toy chest review is Lube. Lots of JO Systems lube. Stay tuned darlings.
Kiss Kiss,
Stella “addicted to toy sex” James
